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A West Virginia transgender man who believed he was infertile miraculously became pregnant after a one-night stand with a man he met on Grindr.
“I gave up on my dreams of being a parent, then lo and behold, this kid comes out of nowhere,” Ash Patrick Schade, 30, told SWNS.
Schade decided to take a pregnancy test in 2020 after feeling more emotional and ravenous than usual, “blindsided” by the positive result.
“In the moment I was like, ‘Am I dreaming?’ It just seemed so surreal,” he recalled. “All I could do was stare at the test. It totally blindsided me.”
The father of one claimed his hookup chose to not be involved in the child’s life due to not being “out.”
“This was never what I anticipated, but I love my tiny family,” Schade said.
But the cost of his growing family — he met husband Jordan Schade, 29, at three months pregnant — was debilitating gender dysphoria and cruel transphobia in the form of slurs and stares.
He had to “put blinders on” to ignore critics when he left the house while pregnant, which wasn’t often due to the COVID-19 pandemic.
“It was complicated and uncomfortable to carry a baby while transitioning, and the dysphoria was horrible — I wouldn’t wish it on anyone,” said Schade, a mental health worker from Huntington. “But now my daughter is the light of my life, and it was all worth it for my family.”
Ronan, his 2-year-old “miracle,” was born on Oct. 15, 2020, at 7 pounds, 4 ounces.
Schade describes her as “the happiest little kid ever.”
“She’s climbing on things and laughing hysterically — she runs to the door and says ‘my daddy’ when I come home from work,” he said. “She wants to curl up on our chests at night, and whenever we have guests, she likes to dance for them in her little dress and boots.”
While she’s not old enough to understand her dad’s journey, Schade said he’s “letting her enjoy her innocence” until she starts asking questions.
Schade isn’t sure he will be able to carry another child — nor would he necessarily want to after experiencing “chronic PTSD” — but he and his husband are open to adopting in the future.
Schade said he grew up “in the wrong body,” relentlessly bullied by classmates and their parents.
Before transitioning, he married a man in 2014, and the couple attempted to get pregnant to no avail. After spending thousands on fertility treatments for years, they eventually retired the idea of having children.
During that time, Schade kept his gender identity a secret.
“I had known my gender for a long time, but I didn’t want to lose my spouse, so I felt I couldn’t get help,” he explained. “Eventually it became inevitable — I didn’t want to live with suicidal ideation from living in the wrong body anymore.”
In 2019, he began taking testosterone, and in 2020, the couple split, but continued to live together, officially divorcing while Schade was pregnant.
Now, Schade’s top priority is keeping his darling Ronan “happy and healthy.”
“She makes my world go round, and I’m really sorry that when some people hear a story, they see nothing but ugliness or an agenda,” he gushed.
“We’re just human beings and parents doing our damnedest with what we have. All we have to give is love.”
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